Quick background 'graph because I'm new:

I work at a Bullsh*t Starbucks. This means we are not owned/operated by Starbucks (and therefore don't accept their gift cards or use their stupid "tall/grande/venti" language) but we do serve Starbucks coffee/espresso. Think of the B.S. Starbucks you see in a Barnes and Noble, for example. Now, I know you're mostly coffee gourmets here, so please be nice - I'm just an hourly-wage barista, and I'm NOT here to defend Starbucks' product, techniques, morality, etc. I'm mostly here to discuss the customer service side of the business. The coffee/product side of things at my store is static, for better or worse. I can't take pride in having the greatest beans or a french press, but I do keep the equipment clean, the customers happy and make drinks to the best of my ability. I'm proud of the way I treat people, and how I'm able to squeeze the most quality out of my limited inventory of supplies and product.

We are an unbranded, unnamed cafeteria run by an enormous, international food services company that was contracted by building management and the tech company in the building (they make an operating system you've heard of) to run a little cafeteria on the ground floor. There are about 6 employees, and I run the coffee counter, which is a separate area.



Anyway, I have a few customers with weird hang-ups about sanitation and expiring products, etc. The worst is a lady we call Dr. Science. She complained that we only carried Aquafina for bottled water. Aquafina is tap water than has been filtered. There is nothing wrong with it. It tastes like water. I drink it all day, everyday (I try not to drink too many calories) and I'm still living.

Dr. Science gave me (a lowly barista) a condescending, attitude-laced lecture about how she can't believe we don't carry spring water. "Nature is the best filter!" she reminded me, probably quoting the National Geographic article I would have read, if only I were literate.

But whatever, no harm in having some spring water too, right? I ordered a case of Evian to appease her, and to see if it would sell. It is a slightly smaller bottle than the 20oz Aquafina, but we decided to sell it at the same price ($1.40) because it is "premium." I guess it might taste slightly better than the Aquafina... I guess I'm just not a water snob.

Dr. Science was thrilled, although she complained briefly about the price disparity. She happily bought the water for a few months. I was happy, because I pleased a difficult customer who'd been giving all of us grief. Other customers sometimes buy the Evian if they notice it before the Aquafina, but I don't think they perceive any difference between the two products.

This summer, Dr. Science started obsessively looking at the expiration date of every single Evian bottle. I guess that the first box we got in March listed its expiration date as 11/09. The second box expires much later, in 10/10. As the bottles started to run out in the airscreen this summer, I rotated in the second batch behind the first like a good employee, ensuring we will sell the first box before they expire.

Intent on being unhappy in all situations, Dr. Science started knocking all the bottles over every day to get to the ones that expire later in the back. I asked her, politely, if there is a problem with the water and if I could help her with anything. "Oh no," she said. "These ones are just fresher." No apology for the dozen bottles lying on their side, ruining my perfectly fronted display.

I didn't realize water declined in quality before its EXP date. In fact, I'm pretty sure it would be safe to drink for years after the expiration date.

Now, I'm starting to notice Dr. Science's other strange habits. She picks through the fresh-baked cookies (which we make every day and seal in small, transparent bags) and sniffs each one for freshness. She throws out the coffee lid I briefly touched when I snapped it on the cup and replaces it with a fresh one from the counter, careful not to touch the part with the drinking hole.

Other customers are similarly hyper-sensitive. One woman yelled at me in broken English, "why this open? No sanitation!" when I took the top off the half and half container and placed it ON A NAPKIN (which, in turn, was on the recently and frequently sanitized counter) so I could refill it.

For the record, our cafe is completely brand new, and it is utterly immaculate. Professional cleaners are there 24/7 for the floors and tables, and we keep our work areas extremely clean as well. I am always wiping down the counters, the steam wand on the espresso machine NEVER has milk dried on it, spills are wicked away before they hit the ground, etc. We are 100% by the books and beyond when it comes to coffee and food prep. We are constantly inspected by our corporate overlords for health code stuff. Everything is clearly labeled and dated, everything is handled with gloves. We just don't take shortcuts. It is by far the most sanitary place I have ever worked, and that includes some of the nicest, 5-star, $300/head restaurants in Boston.

What has our society done to these people? Are they crazy? Or I am being a judgmental jerkwad?

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It could be that they have OCD or are germaphobes. The main thing is that you are going above and beyond to satisfy the customer and humor their little quirks. I am sure it is annoying but the customer is always right even though in reality they can be so very wrong.
My advice is to keep doing what you are doing. Some customers may be difficult to deal with, but everyone has people like that. See the cheap ass customers thread--the reason it has so many replies is that this is a common problem to us all and everyone wants to vent their frustrations. It sounds like you really care about customer service (which is a great thing), but you should recognize that there are simply irritating people. We need to serve them too, but try to focus on the customers who keep coming back appreciatively day after day. You will get burned out if you focus on isolated problem customers. Just chill and enjoy doing what you are doing for the good customers who recognize your hard work and respond well. Focus on keeping the vast majority of your customers happy because they are where you get your primary source of revenue (both on the ticket and in tips). Water off a duck's back, man...
You're definitely right, Ken. Dr. Science annoying, but more strange than rude. I don't mind making her happy, it makes my day better too when I don't have to listen to her! Working in a building with tech companies, I get some people who seem like they have Asperger's or something on that spectrum. They can be rude or awkward, but I'm very patient and understanding, as it's clearly not their fault. I can even tell some people who have been "coached" on how to interact socially, and again, it's all smiles and patience from me.

The people that really "get" to me are the customers who come in every day and are rude. I see them being normal and friendly with their friends, but when they get to the counter they don't say hi, they never say thank you, they throw their money on the counter, they're constantly on the phone, etc. My biggest pet peeve is this:

[I'm cashiering during lunch]
Me (sincerely): Hi, how are you doing today?
Customer: Tuna sandwich.
Me: ....sure. Would you like your receipt with that?
Customer: [Walks away]

This is what they must be hearing:

Me: Please state the name of the single item you are purchasing, even though it is right in front of me and I can clearly identify it. Do not greet me. Use no unnecessary words. Be certain to display as little human emotion and empathy is possible.
Customer: Tuna sandwich.
Me: Perfect. Now leave.
Customer: [Walks away]
Customer: [to himself] I nailed that.

I don't feel bad giving people like this somewhat cold, efficient service without warmth or friendliness. They obviously don't want to talk. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, over and over, and now they're reaping what they sow. I have flipped a few people like this by killing them with kindness, but that's the exception.

Ken Idskou said:
It could be that they have OCD or are germaphobes. The main thing is that you are going above and beyond to satisfy the customer and humor their little quirks. I am sure it is annoying but the customer is always right even though in reality they can be so very wrong.
You're also on the money, Daniel.

It generally breaks down like this: 20% of my customers are awesome. They ask how I'm doing, they're patient, they stay and chat, and generally treat me with respect. 60% of my customers are just fine - they're polite, but not enthusiastically friendly. I have no problem with these people, because we've all been that person when we're in a hurry or whatever. I'm always trying to turn these people into my top 20% with great service.

However, there is the bottom 20% of people... they're always rude and nothing will change that. I don't let them get me down, and I certainly didn't intend to give the impression that I focus on nutjobs like Dr. Science. I just thought it was a story to tell. When I get people in the bottom 20%, I just get them what they want as quickly and accurately as possible, while providing bare-minimum dialogue: "Hi, what can I get for you?" ... "Here you go" ... "receipt?" ..."thanks, take care."

Daniel Williamson said:
My advice is to keep doing what you are doing. Some customers may be difficult to deal with, but everyone has people like that. See the cheap ass customers thread--the reason it has so many replies is that this is a common problem to us all and everyone wants to vent their frustrations. It sounds like you really care about customer service (which is a great thing), but you should recognize that there are simply irritating people. We need to serve them too, but try to focus on the customers who keep coming back appreciatively day after day. You will get burned out if you focus on isolated problem customers. Just chill and enjoy doing what you are doing for the good customers who recognize your hard work and respond well. Focus on keeping the vast majority of your customers happy because they are where you get your primary source of revenue (both on the ticket and in tips). Water off a duck's back, man...
People that are nice to their friends and co-workers and aren't nice to 'the help' are just not nice people. Period.
You're not seeing them be nice to other people, you're seeing them suck it to get what they want. Full stop.

They're small, evil -minded folk that think that they're superior, and what they do to themselves inside their own heads is far worse than you will ever be able to do to them, if revenge were your thing.

*NEVER* serve anyone on a cell phone, *EVER*.

That being said, make individualized personalized comments, so they know that you're not 'working the script'. "Hey, I like that tie, that's great!", or, "You've changed your hair, haven't you?". Even, "Oh, good choice, the tuna's especially good today.
Real people can be snapped out of their isolation and introspection, but those that don't respond are too far gone. Smile, nod, and give 'em their change.
Haha, that's definitely possible. My boss is pretty laid back, so there's no script. I mix it up as much as possible, but when it's busy you kind of have to go with your own internal script that is polite but efficient.

As for the cell phone thing.... it's infuriating. I sometimes shake with anger when people do this in an especially rude way. I've asked my boss 100 times if we could put up a sign that said no cell phones. I even suggested this watered-down wording:

"To help ensure the accuracy of your order and the quality of service, we kindly ask that our guests refrain from using cell phones at the counter."

Nope. No go. I have, however, been sporadically enforcing a personal no-cell policy whenever my boss isn't looking. :)

There was one guy who kept screwing up my register because he was on his phone. He would forget about a soda tucked in his armpit, for example, and I would have to print the receipt out, write "VOID" on it, and start over. This looks bad on my part, in terms of accuracy at the register. I finally told him: "Sir, I've had to void several of your transactions because you were on the phone. I get penalized every time I do this [not true, I just want my register to be dead-on with the accountable cash at the end of the day]. Do you think you could ask the person on the phone to hold on for a moment while I ring you up?" He was a little taken aback, but now he always puts the phone in his pocket when he comes up. I hold up my end of the deal by getting him out of there quickly.

Chris said:
People that are nice to their friends and co-workers and aren't nice to 'the help' are just not nice people. Period.
You're not seeing them be nice to other people, you're seeing them suck it to get what they want. Full stop.

They're small, evil -minded folk that think that they're superior, and what they do to themselves inside their own heads is far worse than you will ever be able to do to them, if revenge were your thing.

*NEVER* serve anyone on a cell phone, *EVER*.

That being said, make individualized personalized comments, so they know that you're not 'working the script'. "Hey, I like that tie, that's great!", or, "You've changed your hair, haven't you?". Even, "Oh, good choice, the tuna's especially good today.
Real people can be snapped out of their isolation and introspection, but those that don't respond are too far gone. Smile, nod, and give 'em their change.
My solve-everything solution: regardless of how incredibly rude or irritating a customer may be, make sure to treat them like you have treated everyone else before you: not only are you keeping things professional (and not "stooping to their level" if they're being petty), but maybe they're just having a particularly off day and unintentionally snap at you. Of course, they could also be intrinsically shy, and not end up saying much until they've warmed up to you.

An example: one regular comes in every evening and gets a large mocha. When I started working night shifts for a couple months, he would always reply with one or two-word answers, and barely mutter "Thank you" after I gave him his drink. Several more months down the road, he and I regularly engage in small talk when I take his order, when I make his drink, and even after (if it's not busy). A little effort to know a regular can improve things greatly later on.

My boss, though, has even advised me that there's only so far we'll bend over backwards to appease a customer: if they're being completely unreasonable, then we simply don't need their business, since 99% of our other clients would not act in such a manner.

In that case, when dealing with the customers with a screw (or two) loose: smile, be polite and expedient, and you can always dream about bashing their head over with a portafilter when you go to sleep at the end of the day :)
I am feeling for you dude! Unfortunately the retail trade has to deal with all types. We always remember the bad ones but overlook the majority that are nice. It comes with the territory. You can choose to allow this person to ruin your day or choose to think about how pleasant most customers are. What's your alternative? You could become ballistic with her and she tells a dozen people and they stop going there. You can continue to do what you are apparently doing and kill her with kindness and try to make sure she is taken care of properly, professionally and with respect. I just don't know what the other choices are.
Thankfully, for every one one of those complaining, quirky, condescending customers, there are at least three interesting, kind and authentic ones to balance them out. THAT's what I remind myself of when I get miffed with a high maintenance customer. Serving the public sanely and successfully requires that we surrender ourselves to idea that people are as varied and complex as the coffees we serve. Some are bright, cheerful and utterly delightful. Some are overly acidic and bitter.
Being able to reconcile that notion will definitely help you give the customer a great coffee experience.
NOT AT ALL.... Feel free to politely ask them not mess up your display. If they want something out of reach please as you or another staff person to get it for them. Do not worry about them complaining to someone higher up. As long as you are on the floor you are the higher up. As long as you treat them with as much respect as they deserve and be have in a professional manner, you are well within your right to ask them to please leave if they are not going to treat you and your store with the respect you are sharing with them. Upper management will understand because I'm sure they are aware of all the points you brought up about the clean nature of this establishment. You sound like someone I would hire so keep up the good coffee work..
They need to get pretty out of hand to ask them to leave. I only mean if they are disruptive to what you consider unacceptable.

Joseph Robertson said:
NOT AT ALL.... Feel free to politely ask them not mess up your display. If they want something out of reach please as you or another staff person to get it for them. Do not worry about them complaining to someone higher up. As long as you are on the floor you are the higher up. As long as you treat them with as much respect as they deserve and be have in a professional manner, you are well within your right to ask them to please leave if they are not going to treat you and your store with the respect you are sharing with them. Upper management will understand because I'm sure they are aware of all the points you brought up about the clean nature of this establishment. You sound like someone I would hire so keep up the good coffee work..

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