Greetings to all,

I am on le tour d'caffe. (<----I think this is french...I'm not sure, I found it in my fridge this morning)

The first stop was San Francisco. I visited Ritual Roasters, Blue Bottle, and the barely open/legal? shop: Four Barrel.

Ritual was pretty rad. Great ambiance, inviting barista presence- nobody kicked me out of the shop after hearing me declare that I was going to serve Chris Baca his ass on an Amoroso long-roll wit'!* INFACT!, they gave me a free cup of their finca la esperanza (of colombia) via their Clover and a half pound of their Finca las Mercedes beans. What-a-country? I mean..city...or something. Anyway, mad props to them fellers for their good brew and hospitality.

The next day, my friend led me down a seemingly desolate alley, promising me the beat down of my life, only to be pleasantly (nay, FUCKING CRAZILY...crazily?) surprised to find an amazing little coffee kiosk. ENTER FOUR BARREL: Four Barrel is the brain child of Jeremy Tooker (ex. Ritual Roasters boss-type/ ex. Kid Rock tour guide). Side note-besides an awesome brain child, Jeremy has a very well-behaved infant who was introduced to my friends and me as the Passion Fruit. Anywho, Four Barrel is still in the process of opening its official cafe (no thanks to SF's gas company). So in the cafe's absence, a kiosk area around the corner, down the alley, is open and serving excellent shots of Hair Bender. Hair Bender. Hair Bender. I like Hair Bender. A lot. I haven't had fresh Hair Bender in over two years. It was wonderful. Justin (ex. Blue Bottle) served me a BANGIN' hair bender capp via a La Marzocco Mistrel. Jeremy and company have a roaster there, just sitting and waiting for the gas to kick in. I'm fairly confident we can expect some great coffee to be on its way in the months ahead. Also, if, with great luck, you should find yourself drinking some excellent caffe alla Four Barrel, check out the WC. It's awesome. Don't be shy. The floor has a magnificent landscape design on it. MALLARD DUCKS.

The following day, I got a chance to visit Blue Bottle's kiosk location. Let me start off by saying, Blue Bottle's alley kiosk was not dangerous enough looking to me or my friends. When I want coffee from a kiosk, I need to have the feeling of absolute peril and most-certain doom. Blue Bottle exhibited none of that. There were old ladies hanging out with their little dogs, chatting away with each other. No knife fights anywhere. Good thing their coffee is pretty damn good. I got a capp there too (do you sense a trend?). It was excellent. They do doubles of their ristretto. On my way out of SF, I picked up a fresh half-pound of their Giant Steps Blend. I haven't tried it yet, maybe tomorrow. It's got a lot to go up against. After all, it's named after Trane's mind-blowing, completely revolutionary form of harmonic movement. And the song itself is amazing...but only when performed by a competant dude(tt).

I'd have to say Four Barrel takes the cake thus far. I love hair bender. I love alleys. I love mallard ducks and passion fruit. But Blue Bottle's got some great coffee and Ritual is really doing some great stuff on many levels.

That's it for now. I'm off to San Diego.
Adios,
-biando butt2000.com/stupid.html
PS- don't kill yourself after reading this. No matter what. Just don't do it.
PSS- are there PS's in blogs?
* see "philly cheesesteak" for further information.