We all have them the infrequent customer that is just a pain in the a** or cost you more than they spend. I've got a guy who insists on moving my big leather chairs from our conversation nook moving a table up there and sits for 3-4 hours on his laptop and yapping on his phone. he spends like $10 at day and has posted favorable Yelp reviews so I hate to say anything, we have a dedicated laptop bar but he doesn't want to use it would rather screw up my conversation area which is now useless because nobody wants to use it with him working. Or Customers in the drive thru talking on their cell phones, I had a drive away this morning because the woman who just ordered a black coffee kept waving off my barista and refused to roll down her window until she finished her conversation, then she pays cash and sits at the window for like 30 seconds while the customer behind her pulls out of line and drives off without their drink. Who's pissing you off today?

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sits for 3-4 hours on his laptop and yapping on his phone. he spends like $10 at day and has posted favorable Yelp reviews

 

Jason,  couple thoughts on this.  First, there are some resources available that limit internet wifi to paying customers (I think one company that supplies this service is Webbeams...or something like that), So when a purchase is made, the receipt has an access code for XX minutes of wifi which can vary dependent on time of day (great for busy times). If the customer runs out of time, they can buy something else.  I am sure there are many companies that offer this, worth looking into.  

Second, Good reviews = good business.  Seriously this should be looked at as a marketing expense.  Many customers who leave reviews do so when they are upset, so the more positives the better.  

 

I don't think the "electrical problem" solutions, or poorly made drink/lousy service solutions are good ideas at all...in fact they are terrible ideas.  Tell you customers the truth, or say nothing at all.  If you mislead or misinform them, they will figure it out...and if they think you have ethical problems, you and your business are doomed.

I agree. We use WebBeams in our store and our customers will get a code when they make a purchase. It's good for 90 minutes and if they need another, we ask that they make another purchase. We have all had our fair share of, shall we say, "problem customers", but regardless of their behavior, we are required to treat them with respect. There is nothing wrong with asking that your chairs and tables are not moved. We ask that people do not put their feet on our tables and confront them when they do. There may come a time to ask people not to return (we've had to do this to a few people) but that was under only extreme circumstances. Making someone's drink wrong intentionally is only asking for trouble- especially if they find out. You can watch those positive Yelp comments disappear. There is a way to deal with customers that won't undermine your authority with your staff, hinder your customer service, or wreck your integrity.

Keith Eckert said:

First, there are some resources available that limit internet wifi to paying customers (I think one company that supplies this service is Webbeams...or something like that), So when a purchase is made, the receipt has an access code for XX minutes of wifi which can vary dependent on time of day (great for busy times). If the customer runs out of time, they can buy something else.  I am sure there are many companies that offer this, worth looking into.  

Second, Good reviews = good business.  Seriously this should be looked at as a marketing expense.  Many customers who leave reviews do so when they are upset, so the more positives the better.  

 

I don't think the "electrical problem" solutions, or poorly made drink/lousy service solutions are good ideas at all...in fact they are terrible ideas.  Tell you customers the truth, or say nothing at all.  If you mislead or misinform them, they will figure it out...and if they think you have ethical problems, you and your business are doomed.

Start fucking up peoples drinks?!

You're going to drop your level of quality and integrity by doing so. Id also imagine your boss (unless you're your own boss) wouldn't be too happy about you wasting product, and harming his busines' rep. 

I've only kicked out customers who were offensive to staff and customers. I have asked table campers to move to a counter seat when we get busy. That rule gets explained when they ask for my wifi password. So far, no issues.

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