some examples that we use in training when we "play customer", ( my favorite part of training a new hire)........
1) customer: can i get an american coffee?
barista: um an americano?
c: no just an american coffee.
b: well we're in america so all of it's american.... i dont know what you mean....
turns out the customer was confused because we brew all our single origin coffees in french press and he thought it would be "foreign and weird" as he put it rather than "american and normal"( his words).
2) customer: can i get one of them there framboozles?
barista: you must be referring to a "frappucino"? yes?
customer: no a FRAMBOOZLE!!!!!!
barista: im sorry we dont serve those or ANY blended drinks here.
customer: i'll just have to take my bizness else where then.
3) we have a regular customer who comes in every morning 10 minutes after opening and orders a latte. and says "i'll have a latte" to the barista taking her order, however, what she really means is she'll have a 12 oz. skim, no foam mocha with half the syrup and cinnamon sprinkled on top of the espresso and chocolate before adding the milk. she's been told everday for the past month, (at least) to order correctly if she wants her correct drink. we are not mind readers. on top of that annoyance, she asks to borrow money constantly and i sincerely believe that this morning she stole $5 out of our tip jar while i was cleaning out milk pitchers and my co-worker was busy cleaning out french presses. she has also claimed to have spill her mocha outside on a number of occasions, upon which she has a new drink made for her at no charge by whichever barista is made to believe her. her new nickname has changed from "oops i spilled my mocha." to "oops i stole your tips" lady. we dont have any proof of her stealing, etc. to ban her. who asks broke baristas to borrow cash? yeah i know the tip jar looks really full of cash but that's the difference between making rent or not for some baristas.
4) customer: can i get an iced macchiato?
customer: why not?
barista: because that's impossible (prompt explanation of what a real macchiato is)
5)customer: can i get a large decaf skim cappucino?
barista: yeah sure ( proceeds to make drink)
barista: here's your capp....
customer: you made this decaf right?
customer: because i really need a jumpstart today.
some of the most disgusting drink orders ever recieved:
16 oz decaf raspberry herbal iced tea with double amount peppermint syrup and an inch at the top for soy milk
16 oz iced skim latte with 5 splendas and two pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup (ordered by "madam splenda")
A woman came in a few days ago and watched me pour a double rosetta on top of her latte. After I set the drink down on the counter, she exclaimed, "Oh that's wonderful! Did you do that yourself?"