the funny things people say... - Barista Exchange2024-03-29T11:22:19Zhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A374792&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI always seem to get the usua…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2010-11-08:1688216:Comment:9605192010-11-08T13:41:35.031ZAshley N Rubyhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/AshleyNRuby
I always seem to get the usual "caramel macchiato" and "french vanilla cappuccino" customers on a daily basis. We use the learning method as well, and for the most part they seem greatful to have learned something new about coffee.<br />
<br />
On somewhat the same topic...at my shop we have this sweet older couple that comes in almost every day. They typically have some breakfast, followed by several hours of playing Dungeons and Dragons (against one another on their laptops) using our free wi-fi. The…
I always seem to get the usual "caramel macchiato" and "french vanilla cappuccino" customers on a daily basis. We use the learning method as well, and for the most part they seem greatful to have learned something new about coffee.<br />
<br />
On somewhat the same topic...at my shop we have this sweet older couple that comes in almost every day. They typically have some breakfast, followed by several hours of playing Dungeons and Dragons (against one another on their laptops) using our free wi-fi. The usual internet campers but at least they buy more stuff throughout the duration of their stay. Because our premier parking is limited, we try to ask customers who are staying longer than 30 minutes to park around back. When prompted to move their vehicle, he proceded to hand my boss his keys and say "Thank you". We were all a little stunned and giggled about it for hours. When they were ready to leave that evening, the man approached me to say "We are ready for our car now. This new valet service is great!" Haha It's an ongoing joke amongst the staff, and he still doesn't park his car in the back without being asked. I had the same type of questi…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2010-09-22:1688216:Comment:9259102010-09-22T14:49:49.618ZMichael Hewardhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/MichaelHeward
I had the same type of question from an older lady watching a double inset heart to which I quickly replied, "No ma'am, when a drink is made with this much love, some is bound to float to the top!"<br />
<br />
<cite>Nathan Lyle Black said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A409484#1688216Comment427278"><div>A woman came in a few days ago and watched me pour a double rosetta on top of her latte. After I set the drink…</div>
</blockquote>
I had the same type of question from an older lady watching a double inset heart to which I quickly replied, "No ma'am, when a drink is made with this much love, some is bound to float to the top!"<br />
<br />
<cite>Nathan Lyle Black said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A409484#1688216Comment427278"><div>A woman came in a few days ago and watched me pour a double rosetta on top of her latte. After I set the drink down on the counter, she exclaimed, "Oh that's wonderful! Did you do that yourself?"</div>
</blockquote> I once had a customer bring i…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-06-04:1688216:Comment:4994162009-06-04T13:54:47.025ZJorge A. Cazareshttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/JorgeACazares
I once had a customer bring in a friend that was "extremely picky" and who "knew what she wanted" and was "hard to impress". After she was done bragging about her friend's amazing coffee palate her friend proceeded to tell me how much she loved coffee and how i'd better do a good job on her drink. i told her that she was in good hands cuz at the time i'd been a barista for about 6 years and cuz im and extremely picky coffee drinker and i make every drink as if i was making it for myself. She…
I once had a customer bring in a friend that was "extremely picky" and who "knew what she wanted" and was "hard to impress". After she was done bragging about her friend's amazing coffee palate her friend proceeded to tell me how much she loved coffee and how i'd better do a good job on her drink. i told her that she was in good hands cuz at the time i'd been a barista for about 6 years and cuz im and extremely picky coffee drinker and i make every drink as if i was making it for myself. She responded by telling me that she didnt expect much from me and that she already knew she wasn't going to like the drink. i started to get excited cuz i love a good challenge and i really wanted to prove her wrong and kick her ass with an amazing drink. she then dropped the bomb on me, she told me why she was such a "coffee snob" and how she had honed her amazing palate.... and i quote... "I drink french vanilla cappuccino's from the gas stations all the time". i literally laughed a little, shook my head, turned around and made her "the best drink she's ever had" without saying another word.... i lost all hope in humanity that day.... I love how you have "dialogue…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-06-03:1688216:Comment:4985592009-06-03T21:41:59.287ZSarah Dooleyhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/SarahDooley
I love how you have "dialogue the script"<br />
<br />
<cite>emily jackson said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?id=1688216%3ATopic%3A294265&page=10#1688216Comment497980"><div>some examples that we use in training when we "play customer", ( my favorite part of training a new hire)........<br></br> <br></br> 1) customer: can i get an american coffee?<br></br>
barista: um an americano?<br></br>
c: no just an american coffee.<br></br>
b: well we're in america so…</div>
</blockquote>
I love how you have "dialogue the script"<br />
<br />
<cite>emily jackson said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?id=1688216%3ATopic%3A294265&page=10#1688216Comment497980"><div>some examples that we use in training when we "play customer", ( my favorite part of training a new hire)........<br/> <br/>
1) customer: can i get an american coffee?<br/>
barista: um an americano?<br/>
c: no just an american coffee.<br/>
b: well we're in america so all of it's american.... i dont know what you mean....<br/>
<br/>
turns out the customer was confused because we brew all our single origin coffees in french press and he thought it would be "foreign and weird" as he put it rather than "american and normal"( his words).<br/>
<br/>
2) customer: can i get one of them there framboozles?<br/>
barista: you must be referring to a "frappucino"? yes?<br/>
customer: no a FRAMBOOZLE!!!!!!<br/>
barista: im sorry we dont serve those or ANY blended drinks here.<br/>
customer: i'll just have to take my bizness else where then.<br/>
<br/>
3) we have a regular customer who comes in every morning 10 minutes after opening and orders a latte. and says "i'll have a latte" to the barista taking her order, however, what she really means is she'll have a 12 oz. skim, no foam mocha with half the syrup and cinnamon sprinkled on top of the espresso and chocolate before adding the milk. she's been told everday for the past month, (at least) to order correctly if she wants her correct drink. we are not mind readers. on top of that annoyance, she asks to borrow money constantly and i sincerely believe that this morning she stole $5 out of our tip jar while i was cleaning out milk pitchers and my co-worker was busy cleaning out french presses. she has also claimed to have spill her mocha outside on a number of occasions, upon which she has a new drink made for her at no charge by whichever barista is made to believe her. her new nickname has changed from "oops i spilled my mocha." to "oops i stole your tips" lady. we dont have any proof of her stealing, etc. to ban her. who asks broke baristas to borrow cash? yeah i know the tip jar looks really full of cash but that's the difference between making rent or not for some baristas.<br/>
4) customer: can i get an iced macchiato?<br/>
barista: no!<br/>
customer: why not?<br/>
barista: because that's impossible (prompt explanation of what a real macchiato is)<br/>
<br/>
5)customer: can i get a large decaf skim cappucino?<br/>
barista: yeah sure ( proceeds to make drink)<br/>
barista: here's your capp....<br/>
customer: you made this decaf right?<br/>
barista :yeah.<br/>
customer: because i really need a jumpstart today.<br/>
<br/>
some of the most disgusting drink orders ever recieved:<br/>
16 oz decaf raspberry herbal iced tea with double amount peppermint syrup and an inch at the top for soy milk<br/>
16 oz iced skim latte with 5 splendas and two pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup (ordered by "madam splenda")</div>
</blockquote> some examples that we use in…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-06-03:1688216:Comment:4979802009-06-03T07:01:10.376Zemily jacksonhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/emilyjackson
some examples that we use in training when we "play customer", ( my favorite part of training a new hire)........<br />
<br />
1) customer: can i get an american coffee?<br />
barista: um an americano?<br />
c: no just an american coffee.<br />
b: well we're in america so all of it's american.... i dont know what you mean....<br />
<br />
turns out the customer was confused because we brew all our single origin coffees in french press and he thought it would be "foreign and weird" as he put it rather than "american and normal"( his…
some examples that we use in training when we "play customer", ( my favorite part of training a new hire)........<br />
<br />
1) customer: can i get an american coffee?<br />
barista: um an americano?<br />
c: no just an american coffee.<br />
b: well we're in america so all of it's american.... i dont know what you mean....<br />
<br />
turns out the customer was confused because we brew all our single origin coffees in french press and he thought it would be "foreign and weird" as he put it rather than "american and normal"( his words).<br />
<br />
2) customer: can i get one of them there framboozles?<br />
barista: you must be referring to a "frappucino"? yes?<br />
customer: no a FRAMBOOZLE!!!!!!<br />
barista: im sorry we dont serve those or ANY blended drinks here.<br />
customer: i'll just have to take my bizness else where then.<br />
<br />
3) we have a regular customer who comes in every morning 10 minutes after opening and orders a latte. and says "i'll have a latte" to the barista taking her order, however, what she really means is she'll have a 12 oz. skim, no foam mocha with half the syrup and cinnamon sprinkled on top of the espresso and chocolate before adding the milk. she's been told everday for the past month, (at least) to order correctly if she wants her correct drink. we are not mind readers. on top of that annoyance, she asks to borrow money constantly and i sincerely believe that this morning she stole $5 out of our tip jar while i was cleaning out milk pitchers and my co-worker was busy cleaning out french presses. she has also claimed to have spill her mocha outside on a number of occasions, upon which she has a new drink made for her at no charge by whichever barista is made to believe her. her new nickname has changed from "oops i spilled my mocha." to "oops i stole your tips" lady. we dont have any proof of her stealing, etc. to ban her. who asks broke baristas to borrow cash? yeah i know the tip jar looks really full of cash but that's the difference between making rent or not for some baristas.<br />
4) customer: can i get an iced macchiato?<br />
barista: no!<br />
customer: why not?<br />
barista: because that's impossible (prompt explanation of what a real macchiato is)<br />
<br />
5)customer: can i get a large decaf skim cappucino?<br />
barista: yeah sure ( proceeds to make drink)<br />
barista: here's your capp....<br />
customer: you made this decaf right?<br />
barista :yeah.<br />
customer: because i really need a jumpstart today.<br />
<br />
some of the most disgusting drink orders ever recieved:<br />
16 oz decaf raspberry herbal iced tea with double amount peppermint syrup and an inch at the top for soy milk<br />
16 oz iced skim latte with 5 splendas and two pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup (ordered by "madam splenda") People piss me off sometimes.…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-06-02:1688216:Comment:4973082009-06-02T18:57:26.822ZJason Haegerhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/JasonHaeger
People piss me off sometimes. That makes me mad to just read it!<br />
<br />
<cite>David Schuler said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?page=10&commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A496911&x=1#1688216Comment496911"><div>The old owners sister in law still comes into the shop to get her latte. She is privelaged to say the least. One of the first times I met her I had to remake her drink because it wasn't right. (We should come up with a name for…</div>
</blockquote>
People piss me off sometimes. That makes me mad to just read it!<br />
<br />
<cite>David Schuler said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?page=10&commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A496911&x=1#1688216Comment496911"><div>The old owners sister in law still comes into the shop to get her latte. She is privelaged to say the least. One of the first times I met her I had to remake her drink because it wasn't right. (We should come up with a name for when we have to remake drinks 3 or 4 times because the customer doesn't give you all the facts I.E. decaf, lowfat, extra hot w/e) So when it is finally what she wanted, she looks up at me and very matter of factly states, "What do I have to say to get my latte right?" with the most sincerest look on her face. I was humilated because the person on register just said "regular latte". Then, more than half a year later, Im pouring hearts on lattes and what not, in her attempt to make small talk says to me, "wow, your really getting the hang of this" AGGHHHHH!!!</div>
</blockquote> The old owners sister in law…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-06-02:1688216:Comment:4969112009-06-02T14:48:53.135ZDavid Schulerhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/DavidSchuler
The old owners sister in law still comes into the shop to get her latte. She is privelaged to say the least. One of the first times I met her I had to remake her drink because it wasn't right. (We should come up with a name for when we have to remake drinks 3 or 4 times because the customer doesn't give you all the facts I.E. decaf, lowfat, extra hot w/e) So when it is finally what she wanted, she looks up at me and very matter of factly states, "What do I have to say to get my latte right?"…
The old owners sister in law still comes into the shop to get her latte. She is privelaged to say the least. One of the first times I met her I had to remake her drink because it wasn't right. (We should come up with a name for when we have to remake drinks 3 or 4 times because the customer doesn't give you all the facts I.E. decaf, lowfat, extra hot w/e) So when it is finally what she wanted, she looks up at me and very matter of factly states, "What do I have to say to get my latte right?" with the most sincerest look on her face. I was humilated because the person on register just said "regular latte". Then, more than half a year later, Im pouring hearts on lattes and what not, in her attempt to make small talk says to me, "wow, your really getting the hang of this" AGGHHHHH!!! I had a customer today say (u…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-04-23:1688216:Comment:4410862009-04-23T03:08:37.214ZBryan Wrayhttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/BryanWray
I had a customer today say (upon seeing my rosetta), "Oh look, a tree for Earth Day! What a great idea!" I just laughed and laughed, but we got to get into a cool conversation about latte art and real baristas vs. button pushers, etc.<br />
<br />
-bry
I had a customer today say (upon seeing my rosetta), "Oh look, a tree for Earth Day! What a great idea!" I just laughed and laughed, but we got to get into a cool conversation about latte art and real baristas vs. button pushers, etc.<br />
<br />
-bry haha
Adrian Badger said:I was…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-04-22:1688216:Comment:4401792009-04-22T16:59:30.681ZMandoline Medinahttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/MandolineMedina
haha<br />
<cite>Adrian Badger said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?x=1&id=1688216%3ATopic%3A294265&page=3#1688216Comment316405"><div>I was in a chain store (not big green, but another one they own) last summer and requested a Macchiato. The very nice barista informed me that they don't make them like the well known caramel macchiatos, but that they make them traditionally. I asked what she meant by that and she replied: "we…</div>
</blockquote>
haha<br />
<cite>Adrian Badger said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?x=1&id=1688216%3ATopic%3A294265&page=3#1688216Comment316405"><div>I was in a chain store (not big green, but another one they own) last summer and requested a Macchiato. The very nice barista informed me that they don't make them like the well known caramel macchiatos, but that they make them traditionally. I asked what she meant by that and she replied: "we fill the cup about half way with foam, then 'mark' it with the shot of espresso." I said thank you, smiled, and ordered a cappuccino.</div>
</blockquote> ohmahgawdz!? wow. Sounds like…tag:www.baristaexchange.com,2009-04-22:1688216:Comment:4401672009-04-22T16:55:12.771ZMandoline Medinahttps://www.baristaexchange.com/profile/MandolineMedina
ohmahgawdz!? wow. Sounds like something my mom would say.<br />
<br />
<cite>Nathan Lyle Black said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?page=9&commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A440153&x=1#1688216Comment427278"><div>A woman came in a few days ago and watched me pour a double rosetta on top of her latte. After I set the drink down on the counter, she exclaimed, "Oh that's wonderful! Did you do that yourself?"</div>
</blockquote>
ohmahgawdz!? wow. Sounds like something my mom would say.<br />
<br />
<cite>Nathan Lyle Black said:</cite><blockquote cite="http://www.baristaexchange.com/forum/topics/the-funny-things-people-say?page=9&commentId=1688216%3AComment%3A440153&x=1#1688216Comment427278"><div>A woman came in a few days ago and watched me pour a double rosetta on top of her latte. After I set the drink down on the counter, she exclaimed, "Oh that's wonderful! Did you do that yourself?"</div>
</blockquote>